“It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Matthew 5:31-32

Jesus isn’t giving us a legal loophole.

An affair doesn’t have to have the final word.

Is sexual immorality the only exception?

What does the word ‘porneia’ mean?

If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights. If he does not provide her with these three things, she is to go free, without any payment of money.
Exodus 21:10-11

The grounds for divorce in Exodus 21 is neglect and, by extension, abuse.

If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled
Deuteronomy 24:1-4

God is seeking to protect women.

God is seeking to slow down the divorce process.

Hillel - a man could divorce his wife for any reason

Shammai - a man could divorce his wife only for sexual misconduct

Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?”
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”
“Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?”
Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.”
The disciples said to him, “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.”
Matthew 19:3-10

“It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, makes her the victim of adultery, and anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Matthew 5:31-32

Bottom Line

Jesus wants us to be faithful in marriage, but his grace is not withheld when they fail.

Jesus wants us to be faithful in marriage.

Jesus’ grace is not withheld when they fail.

Action Steps

Pray - Create some space with Jesus to prayerfully reflect on the following:

• How is my marriage going right now?
• What are the biggest threats to my marriage?
• How am I showing up in my marriage?  What is the state of my heart?
• How can I pursue God’s ideal in marriage or support others in doing so?
  

Practices:

• Identify one practice you can do to strengthen your marriage and do it this week .
• Identify one weakness you bring to your marriage and make a plan to work on it .
• If you are struggling in your marriage, prayerfully consider getting some help.