The emotional response of anger is not a sin.

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
Ephesians 4:26-27

Another time Jesus went into the synagogue, and a man with a shriveled hand was there. Some of them were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal him on the Sabbath. Jesus said to the man with the shriveled hand, “Stand up in front of everyone.”
Then Jesus asked them, “Which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to kill?” But they remained silent.
He looked around at them in anger and, deeply distressed at their stubborn hearts, said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out, and his hand was completely restored.
Mark 3:1-5

“Anger should not be the primary mark of our character. Jesus might well have been intensely angry when he cleared the temple of the money changers, and he of all human beings must have been acutely aware of the abundance of injustice in the world. Yet no one would dream of describing him as the wrathful type. Those with the virtue of gentleness have mastered their anger, rather than being mastered by it. When they act with anger, they channel its power rather than being swept away by its force”
— Rebecca DeYoung

Anger isn't inherently bad or good.

Anger is an indicator that something is happening either internally or around us that we feel isn’t right.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31-32

Bottom Line

Anger is a warning light, not a green light.

Waking up to anger’s tricks

• Your anger is justified
• Giving up your anger means giving up justice
• Holding in your anger will make you feel better
• Letting off steam will make you feel better
• You have no control over your anger

“Wrath… impairs our ability to see clearly, so that even if our motivation is just, wrath causes us to make poor decisions and simply create further injustices”
— Lanta Davis

“There is nothing that can be done with anger that cannot be done better without it.”
— Dallas Willard

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
James 1:19-20

What’s underneath your anger?

• Injustice
• Hurt
• Unresolved issues
• Boundaries being crossed or violated
• Needs not being met
• Wants not being met
• Living without enough margin
• Living without enough rest
• Fear
• Anxiety
• Shame

Growing a new self

Cooperating with the Spirit to grow a new self that is marked by gentleness, compassion, meekness, and kindness

• Read the Gospels with an eye for how Jesus was present to people
• Pray through challenging interactions and ask God what gentleness might have looked like
• Pray for the people you struggle with, asking God to help you have His compassion and love for them
• Figure out how much margin and rest you need to be able to respond lovingly
• Surround yourself with and listen to people who are good at this
• Apologize
• Move towards forgiveness
• Practice giving people the benefit of the doubt
• Move towards people you struggle with in love and openness in order to connect

Action Steps

Prayer

• How do you relate to your anger? Suppress it? Feed it? Why do you think that is?
• How does anger trick you into feeding it?

Practice

• Dig into your anger prayerfully and discover what’s underneath it.
• Try one of the above ideas to cultivate deeper gentleness, compassion, meekness and kindness in your life